The Wicked Cricket Column

I suppose the lack of advertising may mean that they know who the candidates are, but haven't yet made up their minds.

Not uncommon when rebels take over the reigns of power - they eventually become 'establishment'. When those in power run out of steam, they don't always volunteer to make way for new blood! Where are the new rebels?

to Titillate the Christmas Cheer'

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While having a Christmas drink at ‘The Cricketers Pub’ this week, my small group of desperadoes were joined by two ladies enjoying the festive spirit. One, who looked like a younger version of Agnetha Fältskog from Abba, regaled a merry tale of glad tidings concerning a certain Dennis Lillee when he was with the Australian touring side that played Sussex in the mid 1980s.

The Smitten Lillee



Our lady, let us call her Noel, lived in one of the flats in the apartment block overlooking the ground at the sea end. At the close of day 2, she looked out of her window only to see Dennis Lillee beneath her rudely brushing aside a crowd of young boys seeking his autograph.

“Oy!” shouted Noel. “Don’t be such a bully and sign their autograph books.”

So shocked was the macho Aussie by this daring young British Sheila, that he immediately stopped and signed for all the boys.

“Who are you?” asked a quizzical Lillee eyeing her flowing blond locks . “Can I come up and see you?”

“Only if you can find my door,” replied a coy Noel.

Ten minutes later, the doorbell rang and at the door stood the moustached Lillee. He had a personal kit man by his side holding an enormous holdall.

“Can I come in?” he smiled with an air of the Australian bush.

Noel let the two men in whence Lillee grabbed for his holdall and produced a clutch of beers. In fact, the entire bag was full of bottles.

Noel



After enjoying some bevies during which time the entire Australian team were sitting in their coach waiting for Lillee to appear, he said to Noel. “Let me give you my autograph.”

“I’m not interested,” she immediately responded. “But you can sign one for my sister. She understands cricket far better than I do.”

Not to be outdone by this, the smitten Lillee went into his inside jacket pocket and produced two tickets for an impending Test at ‘Lord’s’.

“Please come and say hello after the day’s play,” smiled the Dennis.

Needless to say, Noel did go to Lord’s to watch a day’s play but never ventured into the Australian dressing-room afterwards. Perhaps, one of only a few women who stood up Dennis Lillee in the days of his pomp.

What one earth was all that about? Sounds like "it's all a bit too difficult".

Hhs,

I tend to agree.

I understand Waring's arguments up to a point but... Perhaps, caution is a better approach after the financially disastrous McFly and
Rat Pack concerts back in 2007. That event must still have a detrimental effect on club decision-making and still makes one cringe given
it was a two-day event in July with McFly on the Saturday and 'Rat Pack' on the Sunday. To this day, the losses have been a closely guarded
secret but on Sunday, from all accounts, even a tumbleweed would have been welcome.

Of course, concert promoting is a high risk venture as Waring points out, so given all the competition within a 50 mile radius, why not change
tack altogether and promote an annual weekend of summer comedy at the ground, supported by the 'Komedia'. This would be a perfect
fit for the City. There is Edinburgh, Leicester and Kilkenny. Why not the 'Sussex CCC Festival of Comedy'. This has a certain ring to it, although 
not a good time, perhaps, when the team has just been relegated and the coach has walked out.   

Fb,

Offer the man some Xmas cheer.  At least, he had the decency to take the time and trouble to write a lengthy response. I just wish the
club could be a little more daring at times whether it be music concerts or upping the so-called T20 full house from 5,000 to 6,000 people.
As a point of fact, any mention of 7,000 being the ground's official full-house, should be erased from the record books. 

The one reasoned  argument Waring makes is that Simply Red recently played the Brighton Centre. That would certainly militate against their return to the town next summer.

But otherwise there is some utter nonsense in his reply to s&f.

"Not many promoters have managed to survive in the industry for more than ten years."

Sorry but that proves that he doesn't know what he is talking about. Most of the big promoters from the 1980s are still big today such as Vince Power and Harvey Goldsmith (although both have gone bust and then re-emerged). Then there was my good friend Paul King, who started out in the late 1970s promoting The Police, and who  went bust twice AND went to prison but bounced back and was still promoting the likes of Rod Stewart  until October, when sadly I was called upon to write his obit in The Times.

My even closer friend Rob Hallett was until recently  president of AEG, where he was Simply Red's promoter. Rob has been a promoter for 35 years (he started out in the early 1980s with Duran Duran) and is still in the business - as are AEG who continue to promote Simply Red. 

All Waring needed to say was "Simply Red aren't going to play Brighton twice in nine months".  Fair point. The rest is waffle.