Spare: Harold, Prince of Woke

If polls are to be believed it seems that Harry's near hatchet job on the Cambridges has had some impact with a dip in their popularity, probably only temporary, which is only going to further the already wide rift between the brothers.

From what I've read, it seems a bit unfair, because with Harry's gratuitous self-pitying navel gazing and nitpicking further compounding his negative image you would have thought this would have had an obverse effect on the opinions of the relative stoicism of Will and Kate, but apparently not.

www.telegraph.co.uk/royal-family/2023/01/19/prince-william-princess-kate-popularity-plunges-spare-book/

“Are you ‘avin’ a laff?” Ricky Gervais might say. It’s official!

The Daily Mail states the grotesque description of the Resentful Prince in Spare, placing Elizabeth Arden cream on his frost-bitten penis helping it to heal in 8 hours… sales of the £29 a pot product has shot up by 60 percent and online searches by 180 percent. Harry wrote that rubbing it on his todger reminded him of his beloved mother, Princess Diana, who had loved the cosmetic cream. Is that perverse or what?

The incident now known as “Frostnipistan-gate” led to the brat writing, “The frostbite on my penis was so painful, it made walking difficult and sex impossible.” Who was he going to have sex with - a polar bear?

During the present cold snap, Boots who sell the product, has tweeted, “With temperatures below zero, don't forget to stock up on your trusty Eight Hour Cream. IYKYK.” Unless you’re a spotty teenager, the acronym IYKYK means: 'If You Know You Know.' Let’s hope some clever dick writes a satirical hit song about this. The title? Answers on cream coloured paper only.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11660879/Sales-Elizabeth-Arden-cream-soar-60-Prince-Harrys-frost-bitten-penis-revelation.html



Meanwhile, another lucky recipient of Harry's revelation is author, Rod Mandelli, who wrote and released a thirty-minute long audio book back in 2014 which was later revised in 2020 entitled, The Prince and the Penis Pill. Sales have suddenly increased from an impotent few to a raging 'ard-on' torrent. The premise of the story?

"When a sexy stranger arrives at the castle, the 'queen' devises a unique test to determine if his claims of being a real gay prince are true... Has the Prince finally found another true gay prince with whom to share his kingdom (and his muscular body) in the Enchanted Forest?" Umm, what some might describe as a true fairy tale. 

Listen to a sample:

www.storytel.com/sg/en/books/2327244-The-Prince-The-Penis-Pill

The world is mad. Long live the mad.

"Love Him or Loathe Him..."
_____________________________

Jeremy Clarkson is the ultimate marmite man. Love him or loathe him, his penchant for placing his head above the parapet and clambering over the woke barricades to face the clamour… he makes up for the silent majority quietly quaking in their boots.

Of course, the most recent link between Clarkson and Prince Harry still resounds in the echo chamber of social media. He dared to lambast the black widow during a recent scathing column in The Sun newspaper where he wrote, “(He) hated the Duchess of Sussex on a cellular level” and “dreamed of the day when (she) is made to parade naked through the streets of Britain as people throw lumps of excrement at her.”

Even for Clarkson this was OTT, yet many of the silent majority knew what he meant and could silently offer an inner smile that at least one person had the courage to voice their views.

Naturally, the woke left-wing media, triggered like Pavlov dogs, screamed from their lofty virtual-signalling fortress causing Amazon Prime Video to be the first to offer loyalty to the mob by stating Clarkson’s two different series, The Grand Tour and Clarkson’s Farm would “likely” be terminated in 2024. Immediately, an online petition was created which has now attracted close to 40,000 signatures from those asking Clarkson to be reinstated.



As is the present way, Clarkson then apologised, even grovelled, as he feared the entire mainstream media would turn against him and cancel his entire existence - not once, but twice to the black widow and her resentful Prince - yet this would never be enough. Like a she-devil holding the power of the world in the palm of her hand, Meghan was not to be turned.

Yet, still Clarkson refused to bow. Instead, he wrote another scathing article, this time about Woke Culture which was published in the Sunday Times at the weekend (January 22nd). Entitled, We’re in the Midst of a Coup. Who the Hell’s Behind it? 

While I am not a fan of Clarkson, the article makes some valid and important points and is worth a read. It is printed below.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

‘We’re in the Midst of a Coup. Who the Hell’s Behind it?’

My son came over for a father-and-son pre-football supper the other day, and as he fussed over the Aga, making a particularly fine stir fry, we laughed about what innocuous word had been banned that day and who’d been cancelled. And then, after a pause, he said with a solemn face, “You do know there’s a war going on, don’t you?”

He wasn’t talking about Ukraine. He was talking about a full-on left-wing campaign to unstitch and burn the fabric of Britain. And the genius is that no one really knows that what they’re doing is serious. We laugh as they change the name of the Sir Francis Drake Primary School to something less slavey. We think it’s all a big joke. But it isn’t.

Think about what typically happens in a military operation and then look what the woke left has done here. It’s seized control of our television and radio stations to such an extent that last week Sophie Raworth said, on the BBC News at Six, with a straight face, “And over now to our LGBT and diversity correspondent ...”

And TV drama? Unaffected? Right, and when was the last time you saw a fictional police force hunting a gang of Muslim extremists? It’s always the far right. And it’s the same story in comedy. Say anything you like about Boris or Rishi and the laughter track is turned up to 11. Make a joke about she/him pronouns or Greta Thunberg and they’ll blow a piece of tumbleweed across the stage.

In sport we sometimes have three women doing the punditry at a men’s football match, and if anyone remarks on this on Twitter, they are immediately singled out for the india-rubber treatment. And who’s doing the erasing? Who’s making the rules? That’s just it. We don’t have a clue. What we do know is that, having taken control of the television stations, without a shot being fired, they turned their attention, like any conquering army, to the schools. Here they went fully Pol Pot, doing a comprehensive year-zero job on the curriculum so that kids would know their parents were all racists. Apart from those with “unconscious bias”. Who were racists as well.

You probably think, because you don’t know this war is going on, that when you drop little Johnny off at the school gates he’s going to learn the nine times table that day. No, he isn’t. He’s learning that he might actually be a girl, which is why there are probably tampon dispensers in the boys’ lavatories.

With all this in place, they set about the police, and here they’ve done a tremendous job. Because, so far as I can tell, almost all the officers in the Met — apart from the terrifying number of sexual perverts — are now more wide awake than a frightened fox.



When some young people with green hair glue themselves to the road, large numbers of officers are dispatched to stand around looking at them. And they are only ever removed from the tarmac if they promise to go immediately to the nearest art gallery and throw some soup at a painting.

There’s more too. In 2017 a young woman with Asperger’s posted some rap lyrics in memory of her 13-year-old friend who’d been killed in a car accident. Because these lyrics contained the n-word, as many rap songs do, apparently, the local hate crime officer decided to charge her. And the magistrates, even though the song had been played two million times on YouTube, gave the poor girl an ankle bracelet and a curfew order and made her pay £500 in costs as well as an £85 victim surcharge. The case was later overturned.

Still think the loony left isn’t in control? It’s even in your office. If you run a business and you discover that a person in an androgynous trouser suit has been sitting around all day worrying about panda bears and what painting is most in need of a daubing with oxtail, you know that you absolutely cannot say anything to them about doing some, you know, work. Because then they will claim you’ve affected their mental health and you’ll have to be sacked.

They are cross with you, so they make a complaint, and you haven’t got a hope in hell of surviving that. Which means you’ll have to spend every day for the next few months sitting on a bench in the park and feeding the ducks because you don’t have the courage to tell your family that you’ve been let go for using the word “homosexual”. Which, we learnt last week from a Home Office spokesperson, is a medical term.

We’ve now reached a point where the leader of the opposition is so boxed in and frightened that for a while he could not answer when asked if a woman could have a penis. He knows what happened to JK Rowling when she waded into this debate. He knows that out there, hidden and invisible, there really is an army with the ability to remove from public life anyone who disagrees with its increasingly militant viewpoint.

At least Arthur Scargill had the decency to get on a soapbox and state his aims in public. This lot don’t. They sit at home, hiding in the impenetrable shadow of anonymity, inventing new rules to ensnare anyone and everyone they deem to be unworthy. Monty Python joked in the Spanish Inquisition sketch that there was a crime of heresy by thought. But today it’s a reality.

And at this point I was going to explain how this war is now being waged against our head of state, King Charles. But, wouldn’t you know it, I’ve run out of space.

Damn!

I just simply refuse to believe everyone on the left is woke.

Socialism has nothing to do with how i identify myself or other such nonsense. 

Does anyone really know how many books Spare has sold to date? The mainstream media (MSM) were quick to herald the first day followed by the first week of sales. The UK we are told, sold 400,000 on opening day (January 9th) and a further 67,000 during that first week.

Global sales seemed to vary given whether the media outlet supported Harry’s woke politics or not. One such figure was 1.4m for the first day covering the UK, U.S and Canada. Another was 3.2 million globally including audio and electronic books for the first week. Who knows? So long as the sales figure is headline grabbing, that’s all that matters to the media. The exaggerated one hundred thousand here or there, so what.

Yet, after that first week, the MSM has gone surprisingly quiet. Carrying out an extensive internet search yesterday and today. Nothing. Null. Not a squeak. The book has been out for close on 3 weeks now. So, what about those sales figures for week two and three?



Finally, I came across a U.S website called showbiz411 an hour ago. Its headline: 

Royal Flushed: Prince Harry’s “Spare” Drops Stunning 105% in Sales Second Week as Public Turns Against Him.

The article says, “Harry’s memoir Spare fell 105% in sales for its second week. This is stunning. Second week sales were just 195,000, according to NPD Book Scan. First week sales were 629,000 (America)… compared to President Obama’s book, A Promised Land, Harry’s really collapsed. Obama only lost 51% sales in his second week." It goes on, “The huge drop reflects the public’s turn against him and his campaign against his family– especially such a short time after his grandmother, Queen Elizabeth died.”

The journalist, Roger Friedman, a former Fox News contributor, concludes, “These are hard numbers for U.S sales. Don’t be swayed by press spin that includes ebooks or copies stuffed into cereal boxes. This book is a huge disappointment for Penguin Random House.” Given PRH gave Harry anywhere from $20 million to $30 million advance, the publishing house must be concerned.

Meanwhile, I await with bated breath to see whether any media outlet dares to post the Spare sales for week two and three in the UK.

www.showbiz411.com/2023/01/26/royal-flushed-prince-harrys-book-spare-drops-stunning-105-in-sales-second-week-as-public-turns-against-him

Paul Burrell is outdoing Harold for his latest display of self absorption and lack of stoicism.

Apparently, due to his prostate cancer which has been caught early and therefore internal, so we're not talking Bill Turnbull, Bob Willis or Andy Ripley where it became metastatic and spread to the bones or other organs with fatal consequences, this is going to be curable with excellent long term survival prospects and does not bare comparison.

But this pathetic excuse of a human has been milking it for all it's worth assisted by the luvvie Lorraine complaining that hormone treatment is giving him a hot sweat and inhibiting his beard growth coupled with the highly unlikely prospect his lifespan may have been severely affected.

Get a grip!!! You haven't been diagnosed with palliative care with a fatal form of cancer, nor MND where the road to imminent death is manifested by the loss of bodily functions to compound the brutality of the disease, nor even yet been diagnosed with more gruelling forms of treatment.

What an embarrassment of a father you are to your sons with your unconventional behaviour and pathetic self pity that are the complete antithesis of the traditional male stereotype.